Week 9 Blog Reviews

Week 9 Blog Reviews:

Ashley: I really liked your first post titled, “Don’t Compare Yourself to Others…Even Animals.” You had a great deal of support from our text to back up your points and really explain the article from your point of view without losing academic credibility. I also really liked how you described humans as being able to choose what they want and how to live their lives, while animals just do something to do it. It really gave a strong contrast between us and animals and how comparing the two just because some similarities exist, does not mean it is right. While the amount of support really enhanced your post, I felt their may have been too many quotes and facts taken directly from our readings. It felt like I was just reading a facts sheet on the topic instead of your argumentative piece. Finding a balance between quotes and your ideas (not personal thoughts) will make the piece flow much more.

For your second post I really liked the playful manner in which you presented the information; saying that it is the answer to all problems according to men. This just like your post before really incorporates facts from the text and the readings we completed. It seemed to have a bit more balance in comparison to the article before, but I still feel like you could fill in your paragraphs a little more before you present another fact. Inserting a fair amount of commentary to go along with your facts will really make your posts even more solid. I’ve really enjoyed your help and reading your papers during this unit! Good luck in the future!

Jess: I love your new background! The Halloween theme, cute ghosts, and spiders are so fun! In your first post (It’s Natural Attraction) I thought you had a really strong back-up points to your argument and really presented the difference between humans and animals. I really did not like how you ended both your introduction and your overall essay with quotations from the text. It took away from your overall argument on the topic and made your post seem like almost a summary of just the article. Your original sentences and ideas are what should make up the bulk of your paper. Your ideas are what matters!

Your second post, My Chemical Romance was well written and again had a great deal of support behind it. I really liked your part about being able to bottle the bond between mothers and children. I thought that section was really creative. It may just be a personal preference but I really did not like how many rhetorical questions you included in your posts. One may be acceptable in order to prove a point, but when several are incorporated it really distracts from your writing and overall points you are trying to make. Great writing this unit! Thank you so much for your input and criticism and good luck next section!