Reviews for Week 6!

Week 6 Blog Reviews:

Ashley: I really liked your blog about the modern family. I thought you incorporated the ideas of D’ Emilio really well, and also used modern examples in order to show that family values have changed. I would encourage you to include more complex sentences in your blog, maybe it is a personal preference of mine, but when you have such short statements it gives the post a choppier feel. I think comparing past to present more would have helped your argument as well. Capitalism is the view today but what did people follow back then or how did families interact without the use of modern conveniences?

I thought your next post was great as well. Most of us have seen the film so it was really easy to follow and relate to. I like how you mentioned the disappearance of the 1950’s housewife; I thought that was really well done. I think you may have mixed up the characters when you were citing them near the beginning, so watch for that and also make sure you finish an entire thought. At one point you say that the girls were only 18 but allowed to take this crazy road trip across the country, but left it at that. I think if you had mentioned this is not typically how parents are or another reason why this attributes the movie to the topic of “wild women” I think it would have been more successful. I hope this next unit will be tons of fun! Great work!

Jess: I agree with Ashley! Your blog is very cute! I loved your opening sentence in your piece about heterosexual idealism. It really got me prepared for the topic and post I was getting ready to read. I also really liked how you compared past and present life. It really supports your essay’s ideas because it gives the reader a chance to see the then and now result. I think you needed to relate your post more towards the modern American family, which I believe was the topic for this week’s essay. While I really liked your interesting take on the different technology (sex-change operations) I feel like you could have linked all of it together, such as how families have changed as well as what technology has done to change it.

I’m really glad you found such a great substitution! I really struggled with the assignment as well. I liked how you went into detail about the two characters and described their mannerisms as well as their everyday occurrences. I also liked the connection between Wallace and Mr. Schuester; it really gave your article direction and support. I failed to see the connection between the characters and the prompt. It seemed like just a character description (which I liked) but then failed to relate to the topic of “wild men.” The sophomore went out of his comfort zone in order to feel more in tune with his true self, and the teacher did everything he could to please his wife but I do not see how that makes them real “wild men.” I’m looking forward to being in your group this time around! Keep up the great writing!